Wellness Wednesday - 7 tips for a relaxing Christmas

You would think that a holiday, including the Christmas holidays, would be a time to relax, unwind and enjoy ourselves. And it should be. However it actually causes stress. It can cause so much stress that it is listed on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale.

Animals know how to relax. They will only become stressed for a very small list of reasons and when they get tired they rest. They find a nice quiet spot and have a nap, or chill out watching the world go by. But we keep going until we drop, especially at Christmas.

But it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to get in some down time, some quiet, relaxing time for you. It is even possible for most of us to do a little less rather than more. If you would like a more relaxed Christmas this year, here are 7 tips that can help you enjoy this festive season.

1. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate. As busy mums we tend to get into the habit of doing it all because it is quicker, easier and we get the job done the way we want it done, and we know that it has been done rather than chasing up a grumpy teenager or distracted child. However there are several positive outcomes from delegating. It can be continued after Christmas which means that you can continue to receive some assistance to run the family home. It is also helping to teach family members that being part of a community means that we all participate and that you would also like to be able to relax for a short while each day. There is the added bonus of developing our offspring into self-sufficient adults when they leave home.

2. Take some time out every day. This time out is for you to recharge your batteries and this time can be used for any activity that achieves this. You can probably create a long list of things that you would enjoy doing that would give your batteries a charge and leave you feeling better, refreshed and ready for the next part of the day. Some possible activities include a quiet walk in a park or anywhere with some nature, read a book, listen to your ipod, enjoy some meditation, be creative with artwork or sewing, gentle gardening, pottering around a place you enjoy such as an art gallery or the local nursery choosing some plants or getting some ideas for your garden, or just a quiet cup of tea in the back yard or at a local cafe. I have guided meditations on my ipod which means that I can tune out the world for 30 minutes and enjoy the benefits of meditation.

3. Get everyone out for some fresh air and exercise. A game of backyard cricket, a walk along the beach, a game of footie in the park, swimming or a visit to a local museum such as the Science Museum which is very interactive. Other activities can include riding bikes, horse riding and paint balling. Whilst not outside some indoor activities include 10 pin bowling, indoor rock climbing and laser quest. If there is a very wide age range between all the children and young adults in the house over the holidays it can be worth dividing into groups so that each age group has an appropriate activity.

4. Accept all offers of help. When I had my first child I tried to do everything even when we had guests. They would offer to bring food and I would turn it down and 'do it all'. When I became totally exhausted a very wise friend gently suggested that I accepted offers of help so that I could enjoy having guests instead of dreading all the extra work. Now when people come round I usually ask them what they would like to bring. This means that parties are a shared workload and everyone can have more fun.

5. Whilst we all want to be nearly perfect there are many situations where it is acceptable to be 'good enough'. There is no such thing as 'perfect' and yet we strive for this far too often which leads to disappointment and burn out. There are three human fears that drive us and cause that little voice in our head to belittle and berate us telling us that we aren't good enough. We worry about what people will think if we don't get it just right or prove to Auntie Maureen that we can deliver an amazing sit-down Christmas lunch for 20 people. What if it didn't matter what Auntie Maureen thought, or what anyone else thought? How about reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can which means not only providing lunch but also running a home, caring for children and juggling all your other responsibilities? If Auntie Maureen is that bothered about the fact that the place settings don't match or that the cranberry sauce is out of a jar, sweetly suggest that you are looking forward to having Christmas lunch at her place next year so she can show you how to do it 'properly'. You might need to know someone who can provide First Aid when she chokes on her turkey at the very thought.

6. Drink lots of water. This may sound like rather a strange way to ensure a relaxed Christmas however it can be the most simple actions that provide the most effect. We can forget about maintaining good hydration when we are rushed, distracted, entertaining, planning, providing, delegating and cooking up a storm. Add in alcohol, addition sugar and salt from a wide range of festive goodies and our bodies become very dry rather quickly. Maintaining good hydration allows our body to function better, metabolise all that food, helps us to sleep better, cope better, exercise better, keeps us looking younger and reduces stress. Keep a glass of your favourite water near you and keep sipping.

7. HAVE FUN. Sometimes as adults we forget how to have fun. We are so busy ensuring that the children are having a good time, that our guests are having a good and that it is all going to plan that we forget to have fun. Laughter and fun not only feel great, they are really good for us. They provide lots of endorphins that give us an emotional boost, lighten our mood and help us to remember the bigger picture about what is important to us and what we can let go of. People follow our cues and if we are stressed they become stressed. When we become relaxed, playful and fun they will follow and everyone can have a more relaxed holiday and Christmas.

If you have any other tips that you would like to share please add them into the comment section below.

Happy Christmas
Sarah

Foodie Friday - 3 reasons to avoid snacking over Christmas

And did you know that we put on more weight over the month of December than over the rest of the year? We are offered an endless choice of sweet goodies that we only get to eat once a year and there is an atmosphere of fun, like a month long party.

For some of us we decide that we will make the most of this month and start to take action about weight loss in the New Year. For others we decide that at Christmas all rules around weight loss and maintenance don't apply and that we can eat all these treats because it is the festive season. Finally there are those who decide that they will be careful over Christmas but don't realise how much extra they have consumed.

Most parties offer lots of snacks and nibbles. There are plates and plates of little treats, each tempting and appetising. We often go to parties already hungry and one or two little snacks do not make a dint in our hunger. We are also chatting and having fun and this can distract us from correctly assessing how much we have eaten. And besides, who wants to be a 'party pooper'?

STOP! Before your eyes glaze over with anticipation at all those goodies, there are three very good reasons why we should avoid diving head first into the snacks and nibbles.

1. We have no 'off' switch for sugar (one particular sugar which is in everything contain any type of sugar) and because we have no 'off' switch we will continue to consume sweet yummy goodies until we realise that we might throw up.

2. Snacking and grazing for several hours at a party means that we don't feel full enough to stop so we continue to eat for most of the party, or entire day if we are with friends and family over the holidays. Most of these snacks contain high amounts of sugar and saturated fat, which is why we are attracted to them in the first place. When we stop eating them we may experience a 'low' as the sugar high drops off, and eating more sugar will cheer us up again so we head for the sweet stuff.

3. All that sugar and over-eating makes us feel tired and sluggish so in addition to regaining all of our victorious weight loss we now don't feel like exercising, or even moving very much. The couch becomes much more inviting that a walk outside. This lack of exercise leads to constipation, feeling low and this causes us to eat again.

The golden rules are:

• Have one treat from a plate and DO NOT go back for another
• Eat a healthy small meal before going to a party so that you aren't tempted to fill up on sugary snacks and fatty treats
• Go for a walk or do some form of exercise every day. Getting everyone out of the house for a walk lifts the mood of the whole group
• Savour and enjoy one small portion of each of your favourite Christmas foods because it is important that you don't feel deprived (there are good scientific reasons for this which I will discuss in another blog)
• HAVE FUN! There are lots of ways to have fun over Christmas that don't involve eating several kilos of sugar. Some of the old games are great for children such as 'hide the thimble', board games for older children and adults, doing a jigsaw puzzle, back yard/beach cricket and other ball games and many many more. If you get stuck there is always 'google' for even more ideas

Merry Christmas
Sarah

Wellness Wednesday - why do we need to keep growing?

The saying tells us that we can't teach an old dog new tricks however I know this to be false. Our rescued greyhound is twelve years old and still learning new tricks. These are not tricks that we teach him but rather tricks that he learns to get more of what he wants. Currently he is learning how to encourage us to let him spend more time in the main family living room rather than in the den. And it is working, for him.

So far we have explored the four core needs of the body, the physical needs. We will always meet these needs either unresourcefully or resourcefully. We know that we will meet these needs in the same way that we know that we will continue to breath in and out. We assume that we can always meet them in the same way that we assume that there will be enough oxygen in every room we enter.

When we meet our four physical needs resourcefully we are able to meet the two core needs of the spirit; growth and contribution.

Why is it important that we meet the needs of the spirit? Because when we do we continue to keep growing but when we stop we don't just stop growing, our world becomes smaller and smaller. One way to explain is that if a tree or the grass stops growing then it is because it is dying. Even if it stops getting taller it will still grow new branches, which will also grow longer. Even trees that shed their leaves every winter are still able to grow again in the spring.

When we stop growing our comfort zone starts to shrink. Contributing is also important and is part of growing. In contributing we are meeting the needs of others and of the greater good. When often experience gratitude when we contribute which can also help us grow.

I visit a 92 year old lady who is in an aged care facility and she is still continuing to learn new things which means that she is still growing. She has always contributed in one form or another. She and I discuss architecture, wild life, politics and history plus what ever is going on in the world. We both learn something new just by chatting. You are never to old to learn.

Learning how to do a new dance is a wonderful way to keep growing and contribute. It is social, active, good for the brain and the body and heaps of fun.

Enjoy finding new ways to grow and contribute. If you have any questions about any of the 6 core needs please comment below.

warmest wishes
Sarah

Foodie Friday - how to avoid festive weight gain

Apparently we in the Western world put on more weight over the month of December than we do during the rest of the entire year.

We start eating festive food at the beginning of December, enjoying mince pies and chocolates, cheeses and nuts and several meals out and festive parties.

Food has been part of celebrations for centuries and is a wonderful way of enjoying our time with family and friends as we invite and are invited into homes, to office parties and various functions. We celebrate with our immediate family and over the festive season this is more than one special meal. This is a marathon of eating events.

How can we participate fully in all these wonderful events, really feel part of the celebrations and prevent ourselves from undoing all our good work to reach our weight loss goal over the year?

There are several hints and tips that I am going to share with you to help you enjoy the festive season AND maintain your current weight. Take and adapt the following to make them work for you.

• When drinking alcohol always have a glass of water, which can be sparkling with a slice of lemon, between each alcoholic drink.

• Spirits contain more sugar than wines and so they have more calories. If you prefer spirits then add lots of diet soda and ice and keep them down to two or three.

• If drinking wine, choose white wine and add soda water for a spritzer, which is lovely in warm weather and reduces the calories by half.

• Avoid fruit juices and non-diet sodas as both contain lots of sugar.

• If you are going to a party it is best to eat something with protein and long-acting carbohydrates so that you are not hungry when you arrive. We make different food choices when we are hungry preferring high sugar and saturated fat foods over healthier options. Having a chicken sandwich with wholemeal bread will keep us going for several hours and prevent us from diving into the bread and dips or canapes.

• Avoid the canapes. They may look harmless because they are so small but they are laden with calories in the form of saturated fats and sugars. Because they are so small you can find yourself eating several without feeling even a little bit full.

• Have a small portion of the foods you like and make a rule to NEVER go back for seconds. This includes any and all delicious home-made cakes and pastries.

• Enjoy desert by choosing one small portion of your favourite on offering at each event and sticking to one small portion and not having a second helping.

• When you have a mince pie take the top part off and enjoy the rest of the mince pie. You would be amazed at how many calories you have just saved.

• Parsnips have more sugar in them than any other vegetable we eat so enjoy roasted carrots and sweet potatoes instead. If only white potatoes are available stick to one small one and top up your plate with green vegetables and meat or fish.

• Sauces and chutneys are usually busting with saturated fat and/or sugar so only have a very little to add to your meals.

• Nuts contain Vitamin D and essential fats and we only need a very small amount to meet our daily requirement and we don't need the added salt and fat that comes with the roasted salted variety. Have a few, nibble slowly and remember the golden rule about not going back for seconds.

• Dried fruit is a condensed from of sugar so a little goes a long way. Candied fruit has even more sugar so if possible avoid it, and if you choose to have some remember to have one little piece and use the golden rule of not going back for a second piece.

• In maintaining your weight you will be one of the few this festive season so well done. This may not be the best month to continue to loose weight and choosing to maintain it instead of loosing any allows you to enjoy the festive season without having to re-loose weight in the New Year.

As you can see just a few simple hints and tips can make a big difference in the number of calories you successfully avoid whilst still having fun with family and friends and enjoying some favourite festive foods in the coming month.

A very happy festive season to everyone. 
Sarah

Wellness Wednesday - what drives you?

When was the last time you had to make a decision? Was it a little or big decision? How did you arrive at your choice? What 'drove' you to make that particular choice?

There are several things that influence our choices and one of these is our top two drivers. In this instance the 'drivers' are our top two core needs. So far we have looked at the top four core needs and whilst we all need to meet all of these needs all the time, we need two even more than the other two.

These top two core needs are our drivers. They help us to make decisions, choices and influence our preferences. For example if your top two drivers are Certainty and Connection you are probably in a job that offers plenty of both, and you enjoy social situations that offer both. However if your top two drivers are Adventure and Significance then a job that offers lots of certainty would be boring and it may not fulfil your need for significance. A really great job offers all the six core needs but we will look at that next week.

Working out our top two drivers (core needs) can help us to make choices that are more likely to work for us. About now you are probably wondering how we can work out our top drivers so here is a little exercise that will do just that.

• Write down the four core needs of the physical/body (certainty, adventure/variety, significance, love/connection).
• Because we prefer either certainty or variety work out which you need most. This can initially seem a bit difficult because we need them both, but if you could only have one for the day, which one would it be?
• Do the same with significance and love/connection. Again, you need both but if you could only have one for the day which one would it be?
• Now go through all of them: certainty or significance? certainty or love/connection? variety or significance? variety or love/connection?
• You should now have YOUR order of importance. We can feel as through we have a slightly different order in different situations, so we may usually have certainty and significance as our drivers but when you are on holiday we feel as though variety and significance are more important.  However if certainty is our top driver then we are only able to really enjoy variety and adventure when a certain level of certainty is met.

Now that you know this when you book your next holiday or apply for your next job you can work out if it is likely to be able to meet your top drivers consistently.

When you choose your goals, which will be influenced by your drivers, you can work out objectives to meet these goals knowing that you can choose actions that will work for you because they meet your core needs in order of importance.

Next week we explore the two core needs of the spirit.

warmest wishes
Sarah

Foodie Friday - The sugar free diet

Our love of sugar comes naturally to us, from our first taste before we know what sugar is. Sugar has been harvested and enjoyed since the 1600s but didn't become affordable for the masses until the 1850s. For many poor people sugar made dry bread palatable and tea taste nicer. It was used to preserve fruit and to create amazing deserts and cakes. If you ate sugar before 1950 you knew that you had eaten sugar.

But things have changed and now when we eat sugar we are often unaware because it isn't that obvious. Sugar in its many various forms is added to all sorts of foods that we normally don't associate with sugar. For example many prepared meals have added sugar but would you add sugar to a savour meal if you cooked it at home?

There is much debate about the addictiveness of sugar with some experts likening it to nicotine and cocaine. People who give up sugar for what ever reason usually find that they experience signs and symptoms of discomfort and cravings not dissimilar to an addict going through withdrawal symptom's. These signs and symptoms can last for up to four weeks and return if the person eats sugar again and then gives up again.

Some dietitians suggest that there is no need to give up sugar and that we shouldn't because our bodies need it. Whilst it is true that our bodies require sugar we are able to make it for our cells using fats both consumed and stored in a process called glycosis. When we go on a weight loss diet our lack of sugar consumption means that we have to use up our fat stores instead which is one of the ways we can choose to loose weight.

What can we expect to eat on a sugar free diet? Lots of proteins, dairy products without added sugar and low carbohydrate vegetables such as green leafy varieties, zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, onions, mushrooms and cucumber. If having a more starchy vegetable stick to carrots and sweet potatoes. Peas and parsnips have lots of sugar in them. It is your choice to have fruit or to leave it out. If you choose to have fruit then choose those with a lower sugar content. How do you know? If it tastes really sweet then it is really sweet.

There seems to be much discussion about how much natural sugar we should consume with views between almost no natural sugars to a limited amount each day in the form of fruit and vegetables.

If choosing to loose weight using this diet then one thing is very clear. You can consume no product with any added sugar or any artificial added sugar for a whole host of scientific reasons including how our bodies deal with artificial sugar and how tasting it maintains our need for sugar rather than wean us off it.

Those who have followed this diet successfully claim that within days they were sleeping better, had more energy and started to loose weight. For some their love of food containing sugar lead to them reintroduce sugar once they had reached their goal weight. For others who were concerned about the possible health issues related to sugar consumption they have remained sugar free and claim that they remain healthy and at their target weight.

Some people choose to become more aware of their sugar consumption and reduce it by changing one or two aspects of their diet. The only issue with this is that the sugar consumption tends to creep back up over time unless you are very vigilant and determined to maintain it at a set level.

For me personally if I was going to try this diet it would be AFTER the festive season so that I can enjoy my chocolates, mince pies, Christmas pudding and glass of bourbon.

Always consult your health practitioner before undertaking any diet.

warmest wishes
Sarah

Wellness Wednesday - meeting our need for connection and love

All mammals need love and connection. Babies who are totally deprived of love and connection can die as their bodies start to shut down through the total lack of touch, care and empathy. In the absence of love we will settle for connection.

There are many ways that we can meet our need for connection because this need is not just met through other people but through caring and supporting other people, causes, animals and nature. We can meet our need for connection through nature itself which is why it can feel so good to get outside and enjoy being amongst the trees and grass. Standing barefoot on the ground, especially on grass, can help us to reconnect.

Many people connect through a shared passion. Passions vary widely from long-running television shows, to comic heroes, arts and crafts, sports, cooking and many more including all things IT. The Internet offers an almost infinite number of people to connect with over your passion, hobby or just to chat. For far flung friends and family it offers ways to stay in touch that wouldn't look out of place in a 1950's science fiction movie.

There are unresourceful ways to meet our need for connection and love. You may know someone who is needy and may even threaten to self-harm if their requests for connection and love are not met. While they are trying to meet their needs in this unresourceful fashion they will develop unhealthy relationships that can lead to more pain and another unresourceful way to meet our need for connection which is to take drugs or to get drunk on a regular basis. They sometimes become promiscuous because they want the connection and love from someone but don't know how to develop a healthy relationship. They may also connect to other people through their problems and create drama triangles.

If you know someone who is struggling to develop resourceful ways to meet their need for connection and love then encouraging them to support and care for other people can help them to learn how to develop healthy relationships and resourceful ways to meet this need.

Sometimes we make unexpected and fleeting connections. Today I had to get to a meeting and took the train into the city. When I went from the train station to the tram stop there was an unexpected delay due to an earlier accident further down the tram track. After a few minutes I decided that I would go and find a bus or a taxi. As I did a woman came towards me and asked me if I knew where the taxi rank was located and I told her that I was considering getting a taxi. Her face lit up and having found out that we were going in the same direction she suggested that we share the ride. We found the taxi rank but due to the delays we had to wait a while for a taxi during which time we shared a few details about ourselves. We connected for that short period of time. We may connect for the few minutes that we pay for something at the checkout or with the waitress at the cafe.

We also have deep connections with some family members and special friends. These bonds can last a life time and support and sustain us through the ups and downs of life.

Enjoy your time with those you love.

warmest wishes
Sarah

Foodie Friday - the low GI diet

The GI diet was originally designed for people with diabetes because 'GI' stands for 'Glycaemic index' which means it measures how much sugar will end up in your blood after eating a particular food. People with diabetes need to eat foods that don't put lots of sugar into the blood because they don't have the required amount of insulin to allow that sugar to enter their cells, so it stays in the blood and causes all sorts of medical issues.

When people without diabetes eat a food with sugar in it the body releases a hormone called insulin that allows the sugar to enter the cells to be used as energy. Any excess sugar is then converted into fat to be used in times of famine.

The low GI diet helped people with diabetes type II to loose weight in addition to causing more stable blood sugars. The weight loss is quite slow and steady as this diet helps the person to loose fat, which is usually lost at about 1 - 2 kgs a week.

In the days before sugar cane was grown and used to create pure sugar we got our sugar from natural foods. Carbohydrates contain sugar and some contain a lot more than others. The only food not to contain sugar in any form is protein, except for dairy because milk contains lactose, a form of sugar.

Natural cereals contain complex carbohydrates which means that they contain less sugar and take longer for the body to utilise. They also have fibre because it hasn't been removed in the manufacturing process. Oats are one of the best cereals for breakfast because it is a low GI food, has fibre and is good for lowering cholesterol. However once cereals go through the manufacturing process they are often refined and have both sugar and salt added because many people prefer their food this way. There are low GI cereals which are usually high fibre without added salt and sugar.

Some vegetables and fruit have quite a low GI such as tomatoes and most green vegetables however there are a few that have a really high sugar content such as white potatoes, pumpkin and parsnips which have the highest of all the vegetables.

It is quite easy to obtain a list of low GI foods and here is a link to just one of them:
http://www.the-gi-diet.org/lowgifoods/

This diet offers a wide range of foods so it is easy to have a varied and healthy diet however some foods can be quite difficult to assess their GI so if choosing this diet the person needs to have a list handy until they learn the most common foods, which are usually the ones they eat every day. Favourites like white rice can be swapped for low GI rice. Eating fast food is usually not advised because there is no way to really know the GI in any one item and a lot of fast food has added sugar. Even sushi has a high GI because of the sticky rice used. Eating out in restaurants can also be a little difficult until the GI of several foods is remembered but restaurants are usually very good about letting the person know what is in the dish and will have the chef cook things without the sauce.

Check with your health practitioner before undertaking any diet.

warmest wishes
Sarah

Wellness Wednesday - meeting our need for significance

Many people are under the assumption that our need for significance is met through show. Having expensive goods that show the world that we have money, are important or that we have lots of friends who think that we are important. I used to think this as well, until I learnt about our human 6 Core Needs.

As with the other needs, our need for significance will be met in some form and this could be resourcefully or unresourcefully. Because of our need for significance it means that we will fill in the gaps where we haven't met it resourcefully.

We all want to be loved, to be needed and to be appreciated. We all want a 'significant other' in our lives. Sometimes you see couples struggling to decide where to spend Christmas because both sets of parents need them to be at their place on Christmas day to demonstrate that they are significant to the couple. They feel upset if the couple go to the other set of parents and not them. They measure their child's love for them by where the couple spend Christmas day. Some couples, and later families, spend Christmas day driving from one set to the other to see both Christmas day. This demonstrates the fear of not being enough and of not being loved, which is the opposite to feeling significant.

You probably know someone personally who likes to put others down and maybe gossip about them as well. Or perhaps you know someone who tells sad stories about themselves where they are the martyr or victim. Some people are promiscuous and there are those that lie in a way that they will get found out as a way of being significant. They may be rebellious to get attention. As you have probably guessed, these are all ways to meet the need for significance unresourcefully. They are obtainable but not sustainable and they can never lead to real happiness.

It may surprise you to know that the man in the photo, the dalai lama is one of the best examples of meeting our need for significance resourcefully. If you thought that you had to have money, luxury goods or the life of the party this man can show us how to be really resourceful when we meet our need for significance.

Being a leader of other, of self, speaking up, achieving a goal, volunteer work and making other feel significant is how we can meet our need for significance resourcefully.

We can all be unresourceful at times, fall in a puddle on the floor or throw a tantrum when things don't go our way but when we strive to be resourceful, to be a giver of significance, to be a leader that others can respect and follow and when we work hard to achieve our goals, then we can be happy.

The face that you see in the mirror every day is significant and has amazing capabilities and strengths to share with their family and friends and the world at large.

How do you give significance to others?
What is your next goal that you are working towards achieving?

It is said that when you take care of the dreams of others, they take care of yours.

warmest wishes
Sarah