Many people are under the assumption that our need for significance is met through show. Having expensive goods that show the world that we have money, are important or that we have lots of friends who think that we are important. I used to think this as well, until I learnt about our human 6 Core Needs.
As with the other needs, our need for significance will be met in some form and this could be resourcefully or unresourcefully. Because of our need for significance it means that we will fill in the gaps where we haven't met it resourcefully.
We all want to be loved, to be needed and to be appreciated. We all want a 'significant other' in our lives. Sometimes you see couples struggling to decide where to spend Christmas because both sets of parents need them to be at their place on Christmas day to demonstrate that they are significant to the couple. They feel upset if the couple go to the other set of parents and not them. They measure their child's love for them by where the couple spend Christmas day. Some couples, and later families, spend Christmas day driving from one set to the other to see both Christmas day. This demonstrates the fear of not being enough and of not being loved, which is the opposite to feeling significant.
You probably know someone personally who likes to put others down and maybe gossip about them as well. Or perhaps you know someone who tells sad stories about themselves where they are the martyr or victim. Some people are promiscuous and there are those that lie in a way that they will get found out as a way of being significant. They may be rebellious to get attention. As you have probably guessed, these are all ways to meet the need for significance unresourcefully. They are obtainable but not sustainable and they can never lead to real happiness.
It may surprise you to know that the man in the photo, the dalai lama is one of the best examples of meeting our need for significance resourcefully. If you thought that you had to have money, luxury goods or the life of the party this man can show us how to be really resourceful when we meet our need for significance.
Being a leader of other, of self, speaking up, achieving a goal, volunteer work and making other feel significant is how we can meet our need for significance resourcefully.
We can all be unresourceful at times, fall in a puddle on the floor or throw a tantrum when things don't go our way but when we strive to be resourceful, to be a giver of significance, to be a leader that others can respect and follow and when we work hard to achieve our goals, then we can be happy.
The face that you see in the mirror every day is significant and has amazing capabilities and strengths to share with their family and friends and the world at large.
How do you give significance to others?
What is your next goal that you are working towards achieving?
It is said that when you take care of the dreams of others, they take care of yours.
warmest wishes
Sarah
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