All mammals need love and connection. Babies who are totally deprived of love and connection can die as their bodies start to shut down through the total lack of touch, care and empathy. In the absence of love we will settle for connection.
There are many ways that we can meet our need for connection because this need is not just met through other people but through caring and supporting other people, causes, animals and nature. We can meet our need for connection through nature itself which is why it can feel so good to get outside and enjoy being amongst the trees and grass. Standing barefoot on the ground, especially on grass, can help us to reconnect.
Many people connect through a shared passion. Passions vary widely from long-running television shows, to comic heroes, arts and crafts, sports, cooking and many more including all things IT. The Internet offers an almost infinite number of people to connect with over your passion, hobby or just to chat. For far flung friends and family it offers ways to stay in touch that wouldn't look out of place in a 1950's science fiction movie.
There are unresourceful ways to meet our need for connection and love. You may know someone who is needy and may even threaten to self-harm if their requests for connection and love are not met. While they are trying to meet their needs in this unresourceful fashion they will develop unhealthy relationships that can lead to more pain and another unresourceful way to meet our need for connection which is to take drugs or to get drunk on a regular basis. They sometimes become promiscuous because they want the connection and love from someone but don't know how to develop a healthy relationship. They may also connect to other people through their problems and create drama triangles.
If you know someone who is struggling to develop resourceful ways to meet their need for connection and love then encouraging them to support and care for other people can help them to learn how to develop healthy relationships and resourceful ways to meet this need.
Sometimes we make unexpected and fleeting connections. Today I had to get to a meeting and took the train into the city. When I went from the train station to the tram stop there was an unexpected delay due to an earlier accident further down the tram track. After a few minutes I decided that I would go and find a bus or a taxi. As I did a woman came towards me and asked me if I knew where the taxi rank was located and I told her that I was considering getting a taxi. Her face lit up and having found out that we were going in the same direction she suggested that we share the ride. We found the taxi rank but due to the delays we had to wait a while for a taxi during which time we shared a few details about ourselves. We connected for that short period of time. We may connect for the few minutes that we pay for something at the checkout or with the waitress at the cafe.
We also have deep connections with some family members and special friends. These bonds can last a life time and support and sustain us through the ups and downs of life.
Enjoy your time with those you love.
warmest wishes
Sarah
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