You would think that a holiday, including the Christmas holidays, would be a time to relax, unwind and enjoy ourselves. And it should be. However it actually causes stress. It can cause so much stress that it is listed on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale.
Animals know how to relax. They will only become stressed for a very small list of reasons and when they get tired they rest. They find a nice quiet spot and have a nap, or chill out watching the world go by. But we keep going until we drop, especially at Christmas.
But it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to get in some down time, some quiet, relaxing time for you. It is even possible for most of us to do a little less rather than more. If you would like a more relaxed Christmas this year, here are 7 tips that can help you enjoy this festive season.
1. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate. As busy mums we tend to get into the habit of doing it all because it is quicker, easier and we get the job done the way we want it done, and we know that it has been done rather than chasing up a grumpy teenager or distracted child. However there are several positive outcomes from delegating. It can be continued after Christmas which means that you can continue to receive some assistance to run the family home. It is also helping to teach family members that being part of a community means that we all participate and that you would also like to be able to relax for a short while each day. There is the added bonus of developing our offspring into self-sufficient adults when they leave home.
2. Take some time out every day. This time out is for you to recharge your batteries and this time can be used for any activity that achieves this. You can probably create a long list of things that you would enjoy doing that would give your batteries a charge and leave you feeling better, refreshed and ready for the next part of the day. Some possible activities include a quiet walk in a park or anywhere with some nature, read a book, listen to your ipod, enjoy some meditation, be creative with artwork or sewing, gentle gardening, pottering around a place you enjoy such as an art gallery or the local nursery choosing some plants or getting some ideas for your garden, or just a quiet cup of tea in the back yard or at a local cafe. I have guided meditations on my ipod which means that I can tune out the world for 30 minutes and enjoy the benefits of meditation.
3. Get everyone out for some fresh air and exercise. A game of backyard cricket, a walk along the beach, a game of footie in the park, swimming or a visit to a local museum such as the Science Museum which is very interactive. Other activities can include riding bikes, horse riding and paint balling. Whilst not outside some indoor activities include 10 pin bowling, indoor rock climbing and laser quest. If there is a very wide age range between all the children and young adults in the house over the holidays it can be worth dividing into groups so that each age group has an appropriate activity.
4. Accept all offers of help. When I had my first child I tried to do everything even when we had guests. They would offer to bring food and I would turn it down and 'do it all'. When I became totally exhausted a very wise friend gently suggested that I accepted offers of help so that I could enjoy having guests instead of dreading all the extra work. Now when people come round I usually ask them what they would like to bring. This means that parties are a shared workload and everyone can have more fun.
5. Whilst we all want to be nearly perfect there are many situations where it is acceptable to be 'good enough'. There is no such thing as 'perfect' and yet we strive for this far too often which leads to disappointment and burn out. There are three human fears that drive us and cause that little voice in our head to belittle and berate us telling us that we aren't good enough. We worry about what people will think if we don't get it just right or prove to Auntie Maureen that we can deliver an amazing sit-down Christmas lunch for 20 people. What if it didn't matter what Auntie Maureen thought, or what anyone else thought? How about reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can which means not only providing lunch but also running a home, caring for children and juggling all your other responsibilities? If Auntie Maureen is that bothered about the fact that the place settings don't match or that the cranberry sauce is out of a jar, sweetly suggest that you are looking forward to having Christmas lunch at her place next year so she can show you how to do it 'properly'. You might need to know someone who can provide First Aid when she chokes on her turkey at the very thought.
6. Drink lots of water. This may sound like rather a strange way to ensure a relaxed Christmas however it can be the most simple actions that provide the most effect. We can forget about maintaining good hydration when we are rushed, distracted, entertaining, planning, providing, delegating and cooking up a storm. Add in alcohol, addition sugar and salt from a wide range of festive goodies and our bodies become very dry rather quickly. Maintaining good hydration allows our body to function better, metabolise all that food, helps us to sleep better, cope better, exercise better, keeps us looking younger and reduces stress. Keep a glass of your favourite water near you and keep sipping.
7. HAVE FUN. Sometimes as adults we forget how to have fun. We are so busy ensuring that the children are having a good time, that our guests are having a good and that it is all going to plan that we forget to have fun. Laughter and fun not only feel great, they are really good for us. They provide lots of endorphins that give us an emotional boost, lighten our mood and help us to remember the bigger picture about what is important to us and what we can let go of. People follow our cues and if we are stressed they become stressed. When we become relaxed, playful and fun they will follow and everyone can have a more relaxed holiday and Christmas.
Happy Christmas
Sarah
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